Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love

Kunvuth MonyKanchna / Khmer Times No Comments Share:

We usually associate love with emotional feelings. And by emotional feelings, we don’t like to link it with scientific discoveries. We like to be “the two idiots in love”. We like to let our emotions just flow every which way direction. When it comes to love, we like to live in the moment. We don’t like to contemplate the reason behind sources of such emotion.

Why We Love takes readers into understanding the scientific reasoning with the feeling of love. The book illustrates the chemicals in the brain of people in love, explores women’s and men’s choice in romantic partners, why we choose one mating partner over another, evolution of humans and romantic love, and more.

The author Helen Fisher spent years doing research on the topic. She cites poems, songs lyrics, and literary texts to emphasize each area she explores and demonstrates in the book. More interestingly, Fisher also explores differences and similarities between human love and animal love.

Fisher is an anthropologist and human behaviour researcher, one of the major researchers on romantic interpersonal attraction, known as an expert on love.

Yes, there is such a thing as science when it comes to love. Not only does Fisher interview people for the study of love, she also uses brain scans to demonstrate how the chemical in people’s brain reacts to love-related arena, such as when people are fresh and deep in love, and when certain people have their heart broken.

I never liked to admit that physical attraction plays a large role in our choice of romantic partners, but the book painfully confirms my unwanted belief. For instance, men more than women tend to be biased towards youthfulness and attractiveness in romantic and sexual partners. Women, on the other hand, tend to prefer men in high power.

There is something I couldn’t find myself to come to an agreement with the author: polyamory is impractical. Monogamy is comfortable, yes. I can roll in with monogamy. But I still would give polyamory a try a few times. What I find impractical is not multiple lovers, but multiple secret lovers.

Anyway, here goes another opinion of the books reviewer: there is no such thing as a set idea of love. Some people believe in love and some don’t, those who do believe in love may not end up with a serious someone for a long time while those who don’t believe in love would find that special someone earlier than anyone could’ve imagined. Sometime, love does come when you least expect it.

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