When parents express their expectations on their children, it’s their way of bringing out the best in them. However, when it gets too much, their children get too pressured and may be stressed out in trying to prove their worth. Parents’ involvement in the education of their children does not only affect their attitude towards their studies, towards their definition of success, towards themselves and towards their mental wellbeing.
This issue was bravely discussed during the ‘Minimise pressure for quality of life’ workshop last Saturday at the Institute of Foreign Langauges (IFL) through the leadership of a group of RUPP students. The workshop helped inform parents to fully acknowledge the negative impacts of putting too much pressure on their children’s shoulders or setting impossibly high expectations on their studies.
In a panel discussion led by Mr Pang Smarnh, researcher and lecturer at IFL, and Mr Kao Sovandara, psychology lecturer at RUPP, the differences between parents’ support and parents’ demand were presented in a clear and precise manner, letting the participants understand both. Generally, supportive parents are more likely to build a good relationship with their children by providing motivation, warmth and love to their children, especially when they’re going through difficulties in their studies. As a result, children are able to develop mentally and emotionally. In contrast, parents who demand too much from their children only create emotional and mental crisis.
Both Mr Pang and Mr Kao provided several suggestion on how to live with less pressure and how parents can raise their children without demanding too much from them. Both experts emphasised the idea of minimalist living. According to Mr Pang, “Reducing our daily needs can bring healthier quality of life because as human beings, we are ambitious. We always crave for more. But the moment you stop that idea of wanting so many material things, you’ll also start appreciating everything around you”.
Mr Pang also raised the culture of dialogue and suggested for parents to connect with their children.
“Creating an active conversation with your children will bring healthy relationship that will lead to parents understanding both the strength and weakness of their children. When there’s culture of dialogue at home, both parents and children will more likely understand each other better.”
Mr Kao, meanwhile, said that positive thinking is the best key to overcome any pressure or challenge.
“The habit of thinking positively will bring you more positive ideas to deal with your life problems. Sometimes, when you are being pessimistic about everything around you, you have not guts to do anything at all. When you’re positive, you’ll be able to maintain a good lifestyle,” shared Mr Kao.